March 29th, 2016
Life comes fast like a game of dodgeball and at times I do well
Dodging the issues that are thrown left and right until I look up and realize, it’s me against the world
Here I am, all by myself in what as a child used to be my favorite game.
But as I grew into an adult, somehow laughter and fun turned into depression and shame.
Outnumbered by disappointment and hurt, “not good enough” ringing loudly in my ears
all I can do is cower as my issues continue to escalate my fear.
The hits become harder and more frequent
The dull pain now intolerable as the bruising surfaces
But I escape just in time to clothe and put on my face
I prefer MAC. It covers most of my inner torment
I apply foundation to cover the shame, and concealer for my hurt.
Then lipstick for my anguish and lastly, mascara to hide my dirt-y
pasts are what we try to hide. Unable to publicly heal.
Tormented by demons that can easily be cast away according to those that feel……….
…..the power of God and so easily call on Him.
But I see what many don’t, through the lashes and perfectly applied blush, to removing the mask they say…..”Tuh, I won’t.”
Just as my makeup begins to crack as the day drones on and on.
Pasted smiles, forced laughs and necessary hugs cause places in my MAC mask to wear down and be gone.
The worn places show glimpses of what goes on behind closed doors.
Recognizable to those who fight the same fight of dying inside, though loving others more.
So what do you say to this person?
What can you tell others like me?
Let go of the daily ritual of applying the mask, figuratively, and show transparency.
There are so many others that are hurting that need to see someone like you. Chasing the American dream and loving Christ, but hurt and imperfect too.
Authenticity speaks louder than perfection, drawing others like you together,
building a powerful team that once was small, playing the game nows seems to feel a little better.
Life comes fast like a game of dodgeball and at times I fail.
But as my team grows stronger, no longer am I bullied and outnumbered.
My team has my back and deflect the demons that threaten to kill…….
……my peace, my joy, my dreams and most of all my predestined purpose.
But in the end, I win. My Father says so.
So I too believe it’s all worth it.